Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day Nine.-Cutting corners and cardinal sins

Okay, moment of truth. As a server I do everything in my power to save myself time and energy. I cut corners in efforts of getting a better tip. Nothing that would be considered a fireable offense, but anywhere necessary, I will cut corners.

Truth 1
: In my establishment, we don't have pots of coffee that we brew constantly. In many respects, the best way to describe it is syrup and hot water. During the wintertime, many of the older customers complain that the coffee is cold or stale. They suggest that I 'brew' a new pot of coffee, but I can't brew a new pot. I can't help that the coffee tastes cold. When I run into that problem, I take an empty coffee cup, and run the handle and mouth of the cup under hot water. Although I can't change the temperature of the coffee, I can make you think that I gave you hot coffee.

Truth 2: If you don't take the time to read the side items, I don't have patience for you. Don't ask me, "So what's good?" That is the most vague question you can ask a waiter. Do you like salt? Do you like meat? Your personal tastes? Peppers? Many of our veggies have meat in them, and if you're needy I won't tip you off. If you're the most needy vegan, I won't tip you off that our rice has chicken in it. If you're needy and vegan, I won't tell you that there is bacon in the green beans. Enjoy.

Truth 3: There's times when a table is strange about smudgy silverware, I'll simply slink around the corner and wipe the silverware off with a clean rag. I return several seconds later with a 'new knife'. I can't change the fact that the silverware is smudgy or has water stains (stains from the dishwasher, meaing that the silverware has been cleaned).

Truth 4: I hate people order Shirley Temples for a myriad of reasons. For those who don't know, a Shirley Temple is Sprite and Grenadine. Our store only has Grenadine at the bar. Usually, people order Shirley Temples suck them down faster than I can keep up. When I refill your Shirley Temple, I'll pour the Grenadine down the straw, so the first sip receive is straight syrup. I realize this isn't cutting corners, but an act of passive aggression.

I have many more truths, but these truths illustrate the fact that there's so much that a waiter won't tell you.

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