In general, waiters live a very hard and fast life. We never sleep, live paycheck to paycheck, drink copious amounts of alcohol, and we try to hook up with each other. The life of a server is fast and a little wild. We talk like sailors, and we are afraid to call you out on your shit. I have yet to meet a waiter that doesn't smoke, drink, or both.
The resteraunt is a very political place. The only way to get ahead is to hook up, sleep around, and grovel.
We are nomads, going for restaurant to restaurant (which explains the high turnover for waiters). Maybe we're inherently unhappy, or maybe we've run out of people to hook up with.
In general, we're masters of persuasion. We're masters of small talk. No, I don't care about your sick poodle, but if I 'pretend' to give a shit; you're more likely to give me a bigger tip.
-The Snide Server